When I was in high school, a friend of mine lived near an interesting neighborhood. One day, on the way to his house with some friends, we noticed a barbershop with a fascinating name: I'll Cut For That. That barbershop became something of a running joke with my friends as we would observe odd items out in the world and imagine the ensuing bartering. Old shoe? I'll cut for that. Discarded McDonald's bag? I'll cut for that.
Some students were unknowingly sitting in front of my best friend at a matinee of a local theater production this afternoon. My friend texted me at intermission wondering if I had suggested this production to my students; I had, and I am very pleased they were able to get tickets. I asked him to let me know if they were talking trash about me... They were, but not in the way you might think.
"Mr. Moore will totally count off for that."
That's what my friend overheard, and although much worse things have been said about me, this one hurt. When students say that teachers will "count off" for something, then they must be imagining we have some secret (or not-so-secret) checklist of components with assigned points that will magically add up to the perfection of a 100%. Do you know what I'll "count off" for? Inauthentic writing.
It is as if the writing assignment I have given is a recipe to be followed, and that couldn't be farther from the truth. I hope you know, students, that you don't have a recipe. I have shown you a great cake. I let you taste it. You told me why it was a pretty good cake: it had just the right amount of cake-to-frosting ratio, it wasn't too dry, and it left you wanting another piece after you finished the slice.
Forget the recipe, and bake me some yummy cake.
I apologize to all bakers out there who know what an exact science baking is and would be horrified at the concept of attempting to bake a cake without a recipe. I can't and don't bake, so I am doing the best I can with this poor analogy.
Authentic, purposeful writing? I'll cut for that.
